Monday, November 28, 2011

Finding Lost Things

The story at my house this week…finding lost things.  As many of you know I am wearing a flipper right now because of my mouth surgeries.  (For those of you who don’t- a flipper is a fake and very temporary tooth)  If the visual of me wearing a fake tooth – since June- was not funny enough, just wait. 

One day this week I got out of my car with the case for my little tooth in my hand.  As I walked across my leaf covered driveway, I dropped said case, which popped open.  I quickly picked up the case, only to find that my tooth was gone. 

Now your first question might be- why was the tooth in the case and not in your mouth, OR why wasn’t the case securely stored in your purse?  Both great questions with equally viable answers- it was hurting and I just wasn’t thinking. 

On with the story.  I immediately panicked.  That little tooth costs over $500 AND I knew I couldn’t get another one quickly- which would be a disaster.  (Did I mention that it’s a front tooth?) So, I start searching my driveway…the leaf covered driveway.  I move one little leaf at a time, all the time praying I will find the missing tooth.  After searching alone for quite some time, I got the help of my youngest son, then my oldest who arrived home from school, then a friend who also pulled into my driveway.  So…here’s the scene…four grown- or virtually grown- people on their hands and knees moving leaf after leaf as the sun steadily begins to go down. 

After some 45 minutes of searching and praying, I began to wonder- again- how a little tooth could have possibly bounced so far away from the dropped case.  I’m no physicist but I’m smart enough to know the thing wasn’t made of rubber, so none of this was making sense.  Suddenly- it dawned on me…it must have fallen out before I dropped the case.  So the search began again- this time in a whole different area of the driveway. 
About 5 minutes in- we found it carefully lodged in the crease that runs down the middle of every driveway. 

I think the four of us did a few high-fives, maybe danced a little jig, said several hallelujahs, and praised God for being the finder of lost things. 

Then…tonight- my eldest child came home from a vocal concert around 10pm.  At about 10:30 as he was getting ready to pack for a college visit, he realizes he can’t find his wallet.  Loss of driver’s license- bad.  Loss of debit card- worse.  No I.D. to go through airport security tomorrow at 7:15am- catastrophic.  We do the whole backtrack of where you were all day, when’s the last time you saw it, could it be in your car, could it be in the laundry you just threw in…the possibilities were endless, and the panic even more so.  After every other idea was researched I grabbed my keys and we headed out the door to drive the 45 minutes back to his high school to search the parking lot and a nearby trashcan where some things were thrown away.  On the way out- after one more prayer (begging!), my now frantic son used the flashlight one last time to look under his car.  You guessed it- there it was!  No high-fives or jigs this time- just a huge sigh of relief and several exclamations of “Praise the Lord!”  (And one 17 year old’s rendition of “Jesus loves me, this I know.”)

So- this is what I realized in both scenarios.  We praised God for leading us to the lost thing, which was well deserved. But…we also needed to praise Him for how He opened our eyes to the “lostness” of those things in the first place.

If my case had not fallen out my hand when it did, I never would have realized that the tooth was lost on the driveway.  I may not have realized it was gone until hours later.  I would never have known or thought to look on the driveway for it.  Considering that the lawn guy came the next morning to blow leaves off the driveway, it’s safe to say that I never would’ve found it. 

If my son hadn’t started his laundry, he never would’ve realized his wallet was missing.  It was when he decided to not pack the jeans he’d been wearing, but instead wash them that he noticed the wallet was gone.  Although the dramatic (bordering on traumatic) revelation at 10:30pm was not good, 6am tomorrow morning would’ve been much worse. 

Yes- God is the finder of lost things.  He’s also a God who opens our eyes to the “lostness” too.  I asked to find, but He first had to help me see what was lost.  It was just a tooth and a wallet- things that seemed important, but really aren’t. 

God is the finder, redeemer, and Savior of lost things- lost people, but am I allowing Him to open my eyes to what is lost? 
I can ask Him to find –and save- those lost, but I can also ask that He show me who they are.   And here’s the really convicting part- did I pray more to find a lost tooth and wallet than I do to find the souls that are lost? 

A tooth…a wallet…a soul.  No comparison. 
I should be on my hands and knees again- this time by my bedside, not in my driveway. 

Monday, November 21, 2011

Will it Matter?

65 hours = 2 ½ days
1,550 miles = $170 in gas
One hotel room for two nights = $195
College Audition = 5 hours of nervousness
17 year old son all to myself = Priceless

I just love those old MasterCard commercials.  It’s one of those that sticks in my head even more than the old Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef” or Nike’s “Just Do It.”  I’m always looking for ways to use it in the stories about my life.  After last week’s journey…it seemed to fit.

Between 5:45am on a Thursday morning, and 8:30pm on a Saturday night (around 65 hours), we drove that 1,550 miles.  In between the driving, we slept, ate, got gas, bought coffee (to stay awake!), auditioned for a Music Conservatory, saw a live show done by the conservatory, and met with the admissions director at the college. 

It was a crazy 2 ½ days, but truly some of the best 65 hours I’ve had in a long time.   Through all the craziness, the expenses, and the lack of sleep, I got to have my 17 year old son all to myself.  This is such a rare experience with teenagers that it is safe to say that it has never happened before, and I doubt it will ever happen again.  

I heard a quote recently that stuck with me.  “Will it matter in 10 years?”
A friend shared that as she makes decisions about what she does or doesn’t do, she asks herself this question first.  For me, this was particularly important as I “gear” up for the holiday madness, and as I remembered that LONG trip with my 17 year old.

My son will not remember where we stayed on the trip, where we ate, or how much coffee we drank.  He may soon forget that I took off work or spent lots of money to make the journey with him.  
BUT… one day when he looks back at his life under my care, he will remember that I encouraged his dreams, spent time with him whenever and wherever I could, and didn’t mind putting all else aside when it came to supporting him.  I hope all the things I do today for/with my kids will matter in 10 years.

As for the impending craziness of the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year season, I’ll ask myself this same question.
Think about it…
Will my family remember what centerpiece I made, or will they remember that I sat down at the table with them-not locked away in the kitchen trying to make the perfect turkey and dressing? 
Will my friends remember whether or not my Christmas card was handmade, or will they remember a message of hope and joy? 
What will I remember most- standing in line, fighting traffic, spending too much money, or the joy I felt as I remembered to keep Jesus first on His birthday? 

What will matter this year…what will matter in 10 years…what will matter eternally? 
All good questions that I will keep asking.



Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Journey

Today- in just a few short hours I will take my oldest on his first official college trip.  He’s been to visit several colleges, but this trip is the real deal. He will have interviews and his first audition for a college level performing arts department.  He is completely calm about the whole thing.  I’m a little nervous about it…but that may be the journey rather than the actual event.

The journey will not be easy.  It’s a minimum trip of 10 ½ hours to get there…but that is just part of the trip.  Because of a previous commitment and a change in a performance schedule that couldn’t be changed, we have to drive two hours south to Macon before turning around and driving the 10 ½ hours back north to Ohio.  This roundabout way of getting to our destination made me  think about how any of us get to where God wants us to be. 

Some of us- the lucky ones of us- take a direct route to where God wants us.  Our path is clear early on, we get on it, and we take the straight and narrow way to our destiny.  Others of us-take the roundabout way…the bumpy way…the curvy way…the anything but straight way to what God has for us. I think the latter is probably more common- even if just for a portion of the journey. 

My question- why is that? 

For some, it’s not knowing the right path.  It’s a lack of having a GPS of sorts.  If we don’t ask for directions, we get lost on the path along the way.  Maybe we don’t know to ask (we don’t know we’ve gotten off course) or maybe we’re just not willing to stop long enough to ask.   Either way, it’s just a plain lack of knowledge. Not to pick on you guys, but this is a little like the stereotypical male who refuses to stop and ask directions. 

For others, the path is not exciting enough if we don’t take a few detours.  A little side road looks interesting so we try it- just to see what’s down it.  Now I’ll pick on the ladies.  This is like the woman on a shopping trip who just has to go down one more little side street to see what antique shop or other hidden treasure may be down there.   We take a detour because it looks appealing, but this gets us off course.  We find our way back, but only after we’ve taken our eyes off the correct route for a portion of time.

For still others, there is a complete turning in the other direction for a time before getting back on course.  This is like what is happening for my son and me today on this college trip.  We are purposefully going in the complete opposite direction before turning around and going the right way.  For us- this is because of a previous commitment, but it is also a choice.  Even though it’s a commitment, we could choose to forego that commitment to make it an easier route to keep the bigger commitment. 

If we liken this to our Spiritual journey, any of these is a dangerous way to follow God.  God wants us to keep our eyes on Him; He wants us to remember that our commitment to follow Him is the much bigger commitment than anything else we can do.  We should see the path He’s laid out for us as the one and only choice we have.  In the same way, we should be asking for directions not just when we “think” we need them, but every single day- every minute of every day, actually.  As for those interesting looking side roads…if there is not a huge flashing detour sign from the Lord, we shouldn’t even look down that road, much less get on it. 

Today my son and I have made the personal choice to take the roundabout trip, but we are prepared.  We have a GPS, and will ask for directions if needed.  We will stay far away from any detours, and most importantly, we will keep our eyes on the final destination.  Will it be easy?  No, but hopefully our choice will not keep us from the full blessing of our journey in the right direction and ultimately our final destination.

That’s the goal isn’t it…keeping our eyes on Jesus and our feet moving in the right direction. 
Keep moving…

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

In the Mirror

Seeing yourself in the mirror is a humbling experience.  I’m not talking about looking into the mirror to see the ever-graying hair on your head, the deepening crow’s feet around your eyes, or even the little donut roll around your middle.  I’m talking about really seeing yourself.  This humbling experience happened to me twice- all within 12 hours. 
The first came when I saw my son doing something that I do all the time.  When your kids are little, this is great.  You think, “Ahh…that’s so sweet- he thinks I’m so awesome that he wants to be just like me.”  It’s not so sweet- dare I say it’s alarming- when your 17 year old does it. 
The mirror occurred when my son informed me that he had to drive two hours one way to do a 30-minute play, and then drive back the two hours, ALL on the same day that we (he and I) were to leave for a 10 ½ hour drive in the opposite direction for a college visit. 
You’re asking- what mirror is that?!   When I said, no-there’s no way you’re doing that, the mirror was being slowly raised up in front of me.   
His response to my ‘no’- “Mom, you’ve taught us over and over again not to go back on our commitments- to be responsible- to make our ‘yes’ mean yes, and our ‘no’- mean no.”  I wanted to scream- don’t quote me, but I couldn’t.  He was right, I had taught him that…over and over. This should have made me happy- he was listening, but it didn’t.  I knew that the added 4 hours (plus getting on the road some 3 hours later than planned) to an already long journey was going to make him exhausted and not ready for his audition.  I stated this argument, to which he replied- “I’ll be fine.  If I don’t do the performance, I will let my teacher and my cast mates down.  I can’t do that…I’ll be fine.” 
The mirror, slowly being raised was now right in front of me at warp speed.  This mirror, so disturbing that I wished it was a carnival fun-house mirror.  I wished at that moment that the mirror I was seeing in my son had been distorting my image.  Unfortunately, it was all too real.  In that moment I realized that he was doing exactly what I do.  To the detriment of my health, my time, and my sanity, I never say “no.”  I’m really good at letting my ‘yes’ be ‘yes”, but terrible at letting the word “no” even pass my lips.
One mirror…not a pretty one.  Less than 12 hours later, another one…also not so pretty.
The second mirror happened at breakfast with a friend.  My friend told me how she had taken four days off.  She didn’t just take four days off from work, although that was part of it.  She did what can only be described as taking four days off from life.   She stayed in her pajamas, watched movies, ate ice cream, took bubble baths, and basically tuned out life for four straight days.  Now, this may sound like a great vacation, but what she told me- and what concerned me- is that she did this because she was so overwhelmed (she can’t say “no” either) with her life, that she had to take a break or have a breakdown. 
This time the mirror was like a looking glass into my future.  Either I learn the lesson God has been trying to teach me for a good long while- to live a life of rhythm, or I just might be in the same shape. 
Someone told me just yesterday that I’m filled with the Spirit, but don’t always live by the Spirit. (Ouch!)  Painful, but true.  If I was living by the Spirit all the time- in every area of my life, I wouldn’t feel so driven to please everyone.  I wouldn’t worry that I might let someone down.  I would live in that ever illusive place called rhythm; a work-worship-rest rhythm.  This rhythm honors God and the boundaries He’s given me. 
 “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”  James 1:23-24
God’s grace allowed me to see myself in the mirror.  I don’t want to forget what I looked like.  And...I’m praying that the next mirror He shows me is a lot more flattering. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

Just the Beginning

Okay...so I'm doing it.  After much pushing from friends and family, I've finally caved and am doing a blog.

Anyone who knows me knows I have a lot to say.  Someone told me once that a woman-as a general rule-  has two to three times more words to get out in a day than a man does.  I don't know if they were really talking about women in general- or me specifically.

Maybe my friends and family want me to do a blog so they can hear less.  Reading someone's blog, afterall,  is a personal choice- it's not forced on them.

My blog will be personal...I'm not one to hide much.  My blog will be opinionated...again, I don't hide much.
My blog will be just what the title implies- STRAIGHT TALK about a very crazy, unpredictable, up and down, WAVY LIFE.

I'm not sure how this will go. But just like everything else I try- I'll give it my best shot.

Here we go...