Being in three different states notwithstanding, my boys and I were on vacation this week.
Isn’t it funny how timing works out sometimes? M#1 was on spring break, M#2 was on his senior trip, and I, because the first two were occupied, got away for a girl’s weekend. We were all exactly where we wanted to be this week. I think, more than where we wanted to be, we were exactly where we were supposed to be. Today as I was driving home from a weekend of laughter and rest, I thought about where I was, and where my boys were at that very same moment.
M#1 – on spring break- had decided to leave the cold and gray city of Syracuse for the only slightly less cold and gray NYC. It is his sweet spot, where he feels most at home, and where he will (hopefully) do an internship this summer. He will eat great food, walk the streets of his favorite city, and try out his newly written comedy bits at some open mic nights.
M#2 – on his senior trip- was in warm and sunny Orlando at Disney World. This is his sweet spot, where he has not a care in the world, and where he will make more lasting memories with friends he’s had since first grade. He will stay up too late, run from park to park, and try to set a new personal best for how many attractions he can ride in a given day. (His current record is 32)
Reflecting on these same time/different location vacations, I realized where we each were was more significant than geography.
One son, independent for as long as I can remember, is still finding new ways to stretch his wings. His feet search for the next step in life almost before he has two feet planted on the current one. He is the best kind of dreamer; one with courage. He lives his life with the ideal that there is no lid in existence to hold down his dreams. If there were, he would figure out a way to pry it off. New York City is the place for such dreamers.
Another son, who hates change almost as much as he hates cynicism, is still trying to figure out what life after high school will look like. His heart thrives on shared quality time- preferably doing something fun and active. He is the best kind of friend; one that loves deeply. He lives his life on his terms, but only if that means he gets to live it with the ones he cares about. He is not quite ready to give up on the whimsical part of life. Disney is where whimsy lives, but cynicism can’t survive; a place where it’s okay to still be a kid even if you’re seventeen and 6’2”.
Two boys, two very different locations- more than geography. NYC matches the personality of one, while Disney matches the other. More than that, it’s a picture of what stage of life they are in. One is moving fast and dreaming big, while the other is okay to explore the fanciful parts of childhood just a little bit longer. My oldest wants to be in the memory of others because he’s done something big, while my youngest is satisfied to make memories.
As for me and my vacation…
It was absent of my boys, but right where I wanted and was supposed to be. There was rest and there was laughter. There was a glimpse of what life with an empty nest will feel like. I have steps to take, dreams to dream, and maybe even some whimsy still yet to discover myself.
The thought of my boys on opposite ends of the same coast makes me happy and it makes me cry. The comforting thing – for all of us- I was and am in the middle. I’m home, and it's more than just geography.
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